One of the most significant challenges couples face is growing apart when they don’t intentionally grow and evolve together. As someone close to me once said, “adulting” isn’t easy, but it’s inevitable as we age, we must “adult” as well as change or, as I call it, evolve. Who you were at 20 or even 30—your core values, relationship needs, and self-awareness—need to continue to grow and evolve. There also comes a time to heal within and let go of blaming those in your life you feel have caused you pain, including your spouse.
The big challenge arises when one spouse commits to major growth, healing, and personal evolution while the other resists, staying more stagnant or moving at a slower pace.
Why is this dangerous?
Couples may unintentionally drift apart, find they don’t have much to share, or stop understanding each other. This creates a significant divide I call the growth gap. When one person advances rapidly in their personal growth while the other resists, this gap can cause so much disconnection that some begin to wonder why they are even married.
The way to prevent this from happening is through courageous conversations and conscious communication. Yes, we all get busy, but if you don’t take the time to share openly with your spouse about what you are experiencing internally, the connection doesn’t deepen. Neither spouse knows much about what the other is going through, leading to conversations that become limited to logistics—like who’s picking up the kids, what’s needed from the market, or who’s taking out the trash.
The growth gap can turn deeper, more intimate connections into superficial interactions, causing couples to become strangers who no longer relate to one another. It is essential to be intentional about deeper levels of sharing and personal growth. Growing together and sharing new self-awareness and realizations can open the door to a much stronger bond, greater connection, and more intimacy. Couples who intentionally grow together stay together and expand their love together.
Radiant Pathways Inc. –Marriage Coaching
Here at Radiant Pathways, I help married couples from all walks of life and in all stages of their marriage find the tools and learn the skills they need to thrive. If you’re looking for an empathic, skilled marriage coach to help you overcome issues that may be tearing your partnership apart.
Susan Ortolano – Intuitive Relationship & Marriage Coach
Want more? Check out my other love notes, and book a free discovery call today!