Do you ever feel like you’re lost in a maze in your marriage? Just when you think you’re on a better path together, you find yourself back in the same loop. Everything looks, feels, and sounds the same. You try different approaches to find that beautiful “center point” where marriage just flows, but somehow, you can’t find that balance of who you are as an individual and who you are as a couple.
Breaking the Loop
Humans can get stuck in loops of bad habits, negative belief systems, low vibration, and ruts—poor marriage patterns included. Have you ever looked back at your dating history and thought, “Why did I marry someone who makes me feel like the people I used to date?” It can feel like a living version of Groundhog Day, with the same problems and outcomes, even when you try harder.
It’s easy to blame your spouse for these problems. However, we attract experiences based on our own woundedness, trauma, limiting beliefs, energy vibration, and frequency. In today’s Love Note Post, we’ll discuss how focusing on yourself can lead to the marriage you desire and help break out of any “loops” you may find yourself in.
Building Self- Awareness
Do you know who you are in your heart and soul? Do you understand the internal programming, external behaviors, and habits you’ve brought into your marriage? No one is perfect, so be honest with yourself about what you bring to the marriage “table.” Everyone brings both positive attributes and old baggage, but knowing who you are on a deep level is the start of attracting more clarity, positivity, and flow in your marriage. Self-awareness also helps you understand your own past trauma, stories, and old belief systems, as well as the most authentic vision for being the best spouse you can be and having the marriage you’ve dreamed of.
Love Yourself and Your own Company
Old stories brought into the marriage don’t necessarily mean the end. Look at them as opportunities to uplevel who you are in the marriage. They are an opportunity to connect with yourself and who you truly are. Understanding your true self leads to healing hurt and bringing a better version of “you” into the “we.”
Instead of losing yourself and focusing on your spouse’s shortcomings, take time to be with yourself and deepen your love for who you are. Discover more about yourself. This process will help create a marriage that brings laughter and joy again.
One reason people struggle in marriage is that they don’t believe they are worthy of love and respect. Lack of worthiness leads to poor choices and negativity in marriage. If you struggle with self-love, know you’re not alone—it can take time and support to understand your value and worth. Remind yourself that you are worthy and deserve a happy, strong, loving marriage.
Sometimes, having someone by your side to help you see your worth can make all the difference. That’s one of the things a marriage coach like me can help you with.
Be Aware of Yourself and Your Own Sensitivity Level
Do you feel drained in your marriage? Are you so sensitive to your partner’s feelings that their bad moods affect you? I specialize in helping those with high sensitivity (HSP) thrive in marriage.
One of the most important parts of this process is understanding that your sensitive energy is a gift when you learn to navigate it. You can learn to set better boundaries and lift yourself up rather than drag your energy down. Choose your emotional state wisely. There are powerful energy tools you can use to turn high sensitivity into a gift you love.
Seek to Understand
Whether you have high sensitivity or not, reflection time to understand yourself is critical. You don’t want your energy zapped daily, leaving little room for the good stuff in marriage. Get clarity and understand YOU. It takes that understanding to be fully present for the “we” in a way that feels healthy, balanced, and fun. The loop, the maze, the feeling of being lost will change and you will finally discover who you are as both a “me” and a “we”.
Radiant Pathways Inc. –Marriage Coaching
Here at Radiant Pathways, I help married couples from all walks of life and in all stages of their marriage find the tools and learn the skills they need to thrive. If you’re looking for an empathic, skilled marriage coach to help you overcome issues that may be tearing your partnership apart.
Susan Ortolano – Intuitive Relationship & Marriage Coach
Want more? Check out my other love notes, and book a free discovery call today!